Life with ten children is full. Our days are packed with activity, noise, prayer, meals, laughter, and plenty of logistics. But in the middle of it all, my wife and I protect one rhythm that keeps our marriage strong. We still date each other.
Every month, without fail, we plan a date night. Just the two of us.
We usually pick a different restaurant each time. It does not have to be fancy, but it has to be intentional. Something that gets us out of the house and into a space where we can look each other in the eye and just talk. No distractions. No background chaos. Just presence.
Our older kids are able to babysit now, which makes this doable. But even when they were younger, we found creative ways to make it happen. It is never about the food. It is about connection.
I also buy her flowers every month. Not for a holiday. Not because something is wrong. Just because she deserves beauty. I want her to feel chosen. Thought of. Cherished. After years of parenting and giving, she still needs to know she is my bride.
Date night is not just for couples in the honeymoon phase. It is for real marriages. Marriages in the trenches. Marriages that want to thrive and not just survive. We are teammates. And like any strong team, we need to come back to each other regularly to stay in sync.
On those nights, we talk about goals, memories, family plans, funny stories, and sometimes nothing important at all. We just enjoy being together.
If you are married and raising kids, do not wait for the perfect moment. Start simple. A coffee out. A walk after dinner. A drive with music. But set the tone. Make it a priority. Let your spouse know that your relationship matters.
Marriage is a vocation. That means it is a path to heaven. But like anything holy, it takes work, grace, and care. Date night is one way we keep watering what God planted.
Simple Tools That Support Our Marriage
Our date nights are simple but sacred. Over the years, we’ve found a few tools that make staying connected a little easier:
- Couples Conversation Cards – We keep a set in the car and sometimes bring them to the restaurant. They spark meaningful conversation, help us laugh, and even lead to moments of deeper connection we didn’t expect.
- Marriage Communication Book – My wife loves this one. It’s been a simple but powerful resource we go back to when we want to grow closer and communicate better.
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